#DearMe

#DearMe,

You may be worrying if you had ate too much for dinner or if you ate too less, or you didn't exercise enough or you exercised too much. My advice is to stop and look around. Will your worries be a worry tomorrow? If not then why stress about it today? It sucks the life out of you. You only get to be 17 for so long and time pass by so fast. Worrying does not solve the problem, it feeds your mind with fear and weakens your soul.

To the past me, treat yourself better. I've realized that I've taken so much for granted and have not been treating my body the way it should be treated. We can change our names, our car, our house, our identities, but we only have this one body. Don't treat your body like a battle ground. 

Yes, it's hard. Yes eating disorder sucks and yes Ana is a bitch but you are not a disease. Recovering from an eating disorder is like healing from a break up. You will cry and sob over the boy for days but over time you'll move on. No I am not saying you will be 100% fine later on. Yes it still hurts when you cross over his name or see him down the hall way. Truth is, we can never forget about something or "fully" recover from something; we just learn to cope with it and to not let a disorder win over us. A scar that never fades away is a lesson we'll never forget.

Eating disorder was my past but it is not my future. 

hugs and kisses