Change

I am a girl that is afraid of changes. Not because I don't like to experiment or live the adventure, if you know me, I love trying new things and going to new places. But change is a big anxiety for me. The fact that I will not know what will happen next and jumping into the unknown is scary.

Recently, I have made big changes. I have broken off with my cardio bunny self and introducing more yoga and taking more relax walks. I realized that if I have to run every single day till I am 30+ or until I can accept myself then there is no point. I have been running for 6 months now and I have seen no improvement to my body nor my health. What I did get was this obsession over run, to be sore and to feel sweat raining down my skin. I decided that I will not do that anymore. I will not punish myself for having this body, I will not punish myself for not being lean or the fittest and I will not punish myself for resting.

I am doing 30 minutes of walking uphill, some weight training (nothing more than 20 kg) and more yoga. It has just been a week since I am doing this and letting cardio go, and I never felt better. I felt more connected to my body, more relax, and actually looking forward to going to the gym and doing yoga. I have more energy and my digestion system has improve. I sleep better and wake up the next day feeling so satisfied and not tired. I used to wake up feeling exhausted like I had run in my sleep or something, and I would just feel disgusted like all the positive vibe had just drawn out from my system but now, it's the total opposite.

I am practicing self-love. yes, you heard it right, self-love. Who would have thought that you have to teach yourself to love yourself again. when you think about it, it's a no brainier but when you come to practice it, you are actually not just loving yourself but accepting yourself as you are. I am still trying to achieve this goal of self-love and no judgment but I can feel it every day that I am slowly accepting my flaws, my curves, and my imperfections.

The thing is, I might never be the perfect me that I picture myself in my head but I am still enough.

hugs and kisses